Christmas Shopping Tips

Christmas Shopping Tips

  • Instead of buying your girlfriend expensive clothes and cosmetics, why not save some cash and just take off your glasses?
  • Don’t forget to buy lots of small items for stocking stuffers, like candy, toys, or ammunition.
  • You can get a custom message printed on just about anything. Finally, you can get your father that “World’s 43rd Greatest Dad” mug!
  • Instead of getting your sister a Twilight novel, how about a phone book? It’s longer, has more characters, and the plot’s just as good.
  • Nothing shows a friend you appreciate him more than the gift of an amusing nickname! ”Thanks for the iPod! I’m going to call you ‘Spanky’!”
  • If you’re buying your sister some socks, make sure they match her earrings.
  • Don’t bother getting a gift for your brother’s new girlfriend. She’s just a lawn gnome.
  • People love homemade gifts! Try making your girlfriend some lingerie out of a welcome mat.
  • If you’re the arts and crafts type, you can make your own Christmas tree with nothing but some glue, some pipe cleaners, and a large ax.
  • If you get your uncle a gun and a ski mask, he’ll get you an iPhone and some guy’s wallet.
  • Save money on gifts by telling everyone you only celebrate Canadian Boxing Day, and then punching them in the face.
  • If you buy your mom a fur coat, make sure it’s faux fur. A ”faux” is a French fox. How fancy!
  • Puppies and kittens are great presents, but they’re very difficult to wrap. First, seal them in Tupperware.
  • Remember to not be so materialistic. After all, the greatest gift of all is the laughter of a child, as he murders his first hobo.
  • Why not fire up the printer and make your boyfriend some coupons for Free Kisses? Hopefully, he won’t re-gift them to the guys at the office.

One comment on “Christmas Shopping Tips

  1. HailStorm on said:

    OMGGGGG!! This has to be the funniest page in the internet! You are sooo creative! Nice advice you got there :P

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