Christmas Shopping Tips

Christmas Shopping Tips

  • Instead of buying your girlfriend expensive clothes and cosmetics, why not save some cash and just take off your glasses?
  • Don’t forget to buy lots of small items for stocking stuffers, like candy, toys, or ammunition.
  • You can get a custom message printed on just about anything. Finally, you can get your father that “World’s 43rd Greatest Dad” mug!
  • Instead of getting your sister a Twilight novel, how about a phone book? It’s longer, has more characters, and the plot’s just as good.
  • Nothing shows a friend you appreciate him more than the gift of an amusing nickname! ”Thanks for the iPod! I’m going to call you ‘Spanky’!”
  • If you’re buying your sister some socks, make sure they match her earrings.
  • Don’t bother getting a gift for your brother’s new girlfriend. She’s just a lawn gnome.
  • People love homemade gifts! Try making your girlfriend some lingerie out of a welcome mat.
  • If you’re the arts and crafts type, you can make your own Christmas tree with nothing but some glue, some pipe cleaners, and a large ax.
  • If you get your uncle a gun and a ski mask, he’ll get you an iPhone and some guy’s wallet.
  • Save money on gifts by telling everyone you only celebrate Canadian Boxing Day, and then punching them in the face.
  • If you buy your mom a fur coat, make sure it’s faux fur. A ”faux” is a French fox. How fancy!
  • Puppies and kittens are great presents, but they’re very difficult to wrap. First, seal them in Tupperware.
  • Remember to not be so materialistic. After all, the greatest gift of all is the laughter of a child, as he murders his first hobo.
  • Why not fire up the printer and make your boyfriend some coupons for Free Kisses? Hopefully, he won’t re-gift them to the guys at the office.

One Response to “Christmas Shopping Tips”

  1. OMGGGGG!! This has to be the funniest page in the internet! You are sooo creative! Nice advice you got there 😛

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