Cleaning Up The Classics

Cleaning Up The Classics

Inspired by the recent sanitized version of Mark Twain’s “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn,” I present to you some classic novels now rendered completely inoffensive:

  • “The Fan of the Opera”
  • “Fahrenheit 45 and Partly Cloudy”
  • “The Taming of the Shrewd Businesswoman”
  • “Paradise Lost – No, Wait, It Was Behind The Couch”
  • “Giggle, the Beloved Country”
  • “Veganhouse-Five”
  • “The Grapes of Mild Annoyance”
  • “To Cuddle a Mockingbird”
  • “Love in the Time of Cauliflower”
  • “Portnoy’s Completely Fine, Thanks For Asking”
  • “_____” (“Naked Lunch”, now inoffensive to both prudes and anorexics.)
  • “The Sound and the Furby”
  • “The Lion, the Witch who was Promptly Stoned to Death as God Commands, and the Wardrobe”
  • “Finnegan’s Awake, Why Not Make Him Breakfast?”

3 Responses to “Cleaning Up The Classics”

  1. I was just reading Finnegan’s Wake and I Googled for more info and found this post. Funny stuff!

  2. Humbert and Lolita’s Older Sister

  3. Nap of a Salesperson

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