How to Magically Delete Other People’s Reddit Posts

Do you love Reddit, but hate all the garbage people post? “Check out my ill-informed political opinions expressed in the form of a Sexy Groot Meme!” Do you wish you could do more than just downvote their crap? How about deleting their shitposts entirely? Well, with the magic of CSS (Chanting in Satan’s Service), now you can!

You will need:

  • A Computer
  • A Reddit Account
  • Firefox
  • Candles
  • A Virgin Goat
  • The Eye of Agamotto (Optional)

The Magic:

  • Open up Firefox. Click on the menu icon, then click on help. Click Troubleshooting Information.
  • Slaughter the goat, draining the blood into a goblet, chalice, red Solo cup, or other sacred drinking vessel. (I use a Smurfs coffee mug.)
  • Click the button to open your profile folder. Use the blood to draw a pentagram around your computer, and place the candles on each point of the star. Click on Chrome.
  • Open your userContent file in your favorite text editor. (You may have to create the Chrome folder and the userContent.css file yourself.) I use Notepad++, but regular Notepad, Sublime Text, or a quill pen made from a raven’s feather will work just as well.
  • Solemnly chant the following: “Oh great and mighty Web Server Daemons, hear my plea! Make me one of the Reddit elite! In voto placet! Recensere: Tibi gratias ago pro qua aurum!”
  • Add the following to your userContent.css file:

form.hide-button {visibility:hidden;}
form.hide-button a::after {visibility:visible;display:block;content:”Delete Post”;margin-bottom:-16px;position:relative;
white-space: nowrap;
z-index: 20px;
-moz-border-radius: 5px;
-webkit-border-radius: 5px;
border-radius: 5px;
-moz-box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #222;
-webkit-box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #222;
box-shadow: 0px 0px 4px #222;
background-color: #cee3f8;
}

  • Save it and close it. Banish the Web Server Daemons by chanting “[root@deep] /# /etc/rc.d/init.d/httpd stop, I command you!”

The next time you open Firefox and log in to Reddit, you should have a shiny new “Delete Post” button. You can now censor the opinions of others to your heart’s content. It’s just like being a Reddit admin! Enjoy!

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