Signs She Has a Crush on You

• She touches your hair, smiles at you, and asks how you want it cut.
• She laughs at all your jokes, even that one that got you kicked out of church.
• She tries to make you jealous by sleeping with other guys, like her husband.
• She knows everything about you – your favorite color, your middle name, where you hid the bodies…
• She carved your name in a tree, and in your arm.
• She always has “doe eyes” when she looks at you through her binoculars.
• She’s always doing little favors for you, like bringing you coffee, loaning you a pencil, or helping you bathe.
• When you said you liked jewelry, she bought you a 24-karat gold house arrest bracelet.
• She makes eye contact so much, she scratched your cornea.
• She gives you a cute nickname, like “Honey” or “Sugar” or “Grandpa.”
• You catch her looking at you from across the room, but she just looks away, embarrassed, and tells you to go back to sleep.
• She just had your third child.

Filed under: humor by Writepop