We just don’t understand each other…
Things guys don’t understand about women
- Ever see a women in a leather coat tell you she’s a vegetarian? Apparently, cows hate being eaten but love not having skin.
- Women say they love long walks on the beach, but they always give up after five or six miles. Looks like somebody shouldn’t have worn heels!
- Women love candlelit dinners and snuggling in front of the fire, but after a few weeks, they start to wonder if you have electricity.
- Why are women so greedy? I asked my last girlfriend if she loved me for my money, and she said “Sure, it seemed like a good trade.”
- Why are women always sending you to get things? Every day, it’s “Get my purse. Get me some ice cream. Get a job.”
- Women love compliments, but apparently I’m only allowed to compliment certain things. “You have beautiful eyes” is okay, but not “you have sexy elbow flaps.”
- Also, they hate it when you refer to yourself as “Daddy.” Or “Big Poppa.” Or “Captain Magic Trousers.”
- Women are always on diets, so why do they bother ordering when we go out to eat? Can’t they just sit there and look pretty while daddy has a steak?
- A woman will say she wants a baby, but she’ll get all upset when you bring her one.
- Why do women ask such annoying questions? “What are you thinking?” “Does this dress make me look fat?” “Who are you and why are you in my hamper?”
Things women don’t understand about guys
- Why don’t guys do a little more to control their gas? If I wanted to be with someone who smelled like beans, I’d date a hobo.
- Why aren’t guys more confident? Have more self-esteem, stupid!
- Do guys have to be so immature? They always tease me about my Hello Kitty lunchbox!
- Why are guys always afraid of commitment? Every time I meet a new one, he tries to get out of the basement…
- Why are guys the only ones who get to have mustaches?
- Why do guys have such a hard time telling when you’re flirting? Can’t they take a hint? Do I have to draw them a treasure map?
- Why do guys hate watching figure skating? I thought they liked sports?
- When I was growing up, my dad told me that boys were “only interested in one thing.” Apparently, he was talking about the Nintendo Wii.
- Why do guys only seem to notice how funny and intelligent I am? Just once, I wish a guy would love me for my rockin’ bod.
- Why are guys all such pervs? When I went to the doctor for a sore throat, he told me to show him my uvula!